Beyond the Thin Blue Line
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.
- Simon and Garfunkel, The Sound of Silence
I wish I could tell my children not to fear death. That it is, in actual fact, very peaceful. When it happened to me I’d been ill for a long time, had lost hair and gained weight in equal measure. A hot ball of fire had settled in my stomach and every time I opened my mouth little parts of it broke off, raced up and out in the form of words which stung like a swarm of angry bees. I did manage to say goodbye, and for that I’ll be eternally grateful.
People who believe in stuff like this tell you that when you go, you drift up slowly but I didn’t. I raced up, up, up and for a moment I enjoyed it: being able to move quickly again, the rush of wind in my face, high on the pain-free existence. Then the silence encompassed me and I saw the light, bright and blue like neon. The thin blue line around the earth, which is where I’m balancing between life and death, between earth’s atmosphere and what is beyond. I don’t have long here. Goodbye again. Farewell.
Laura Besley
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May is National Short Story Month. I've joined A.M. Harte's Senseless Challenge:
May has five Fridays.
Each Friday is dedicated to one of the senses.
The schedule is:
May 03: Sight
May 10: Sound
May 17: Smell
May 24: Taste
May 31: Touch
There are no rules. You can take part for one week or all five. You can write about not having that week’s sense or only having it. So...here goes!
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Flash Fiction is short enough to read whilst you're waiting for the kettle to boil. It's fairly quick to write too, but with it being so short, every word has to count.
On 4th May 2012 I decided to embark on a project: to write a piece of Flash Fiction every day. I'm hoping this will keep the creative juices flowing and ultimately help me hone my craft. Every Friday I'll be posting 'the best of the week' onto my blog for you to read. If you have anything to say (good or 'constructive'!), I'm open to comments.
Thanks, as always, for reading.
Really nice writing! You take us there with the narrator to the thin blue line.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Helen! :)
DeleteAwwww....very comforting.
ReplyDeleteThanks! :)
DeleteBeautiful, just beautiful, and very comforting.
ReplyDeleteThank you! :)
Deletelike the image of the hot ball in her stomach shredding off pieces through her mouth to emerge as words
ReplyDeletemarc nash
Thanks. Tried to find an original way of describing anger.
DeleteI liked the idea of the rush of wind on his/her face, let's hope there's something at the end to look forward to however brief it is xxx
ReplyDeleteIn my mind it was a woman, but I guess if could be a man. I hope there's something nice to look forward to too! :)
DeleteI liked the contrast. Nice.
ReplyDeleteYou could move on the something quite sinister now...or even into science fiction.
That's true - I hadn't considered that! :)
DeleteI really like that image of the moment of stillness and silence as she says farewell.
ReplyDeleteThanks for that! :)
DeleteNot what I was expecting, but very well written. The "Thin Blue Line" made me think of a policeman...still this is also an interesting idea. Good job.
ReplyDeleteI think traditionally that's what it's linked to, but I watched a science programme about the thin blue line around earth's atmosphere and that has always stuck with me. In this setting I found it worked. Thanks for commenting! :)
DeleteVery cool, lovely description.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! :)
DeleteI agree, this is very well written with superb imagery. Great story.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much, Deanna! :)
DeleteGreat use of imagery. Nice one.
ReplyDeleteCheers Tim! :)
DeleteGreat imagery and concept Laura - I liked this!
ReplyDeleteThank you! :)
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