Friday, 24 May 2013

Friday Flash Fiction - week 47

Lollipops in the Snow

‘Go on,’ Finley said. ‘I dare you.’
‘No,’ Jack replied, with a mouth full of Coco Pops. ‘You do it.’ 
‘I said it first.’ Finley looked at his younger brother sitting opposite him at the breakfast table. ‘Chicken,’ he muttered. 
‘Am not!’ 
‘Are too! Unless you can prove it?’
‘Okay. Fine. I’ll do it.’ 
‘Danny from down the road said they taste like lollipops.’ 

Both slipped down from the IKEA chairs and stacked their two cereal bowls into the dishwasher. In the hallway they put on thick jackets, woollen scarfs, gloves and hats. They pulled on snow boots, Finley’s were green and Jack’s were blue, and stepped outside into the freezing air. 

It was less than twenty seconds to the nearest lamppost. 

‘Go on then,’ Finley urged. 
Jack gingerly stuck out his tongue and inched the tip closer to the lamppost. ‘Aah!’ He jumped back. ‘It’s freezing.’ 
‘Of course it is, you idiot. You didn’t do it properly. You need to lick it and hold it there for five seconds.’
‘Okay. Here goes…’
Jack gave the lamppost a lick. The soft covering of ice came away and melted immediately in his mouth. 
‘Hold it,’ Finley warned. ‘Five, four, three,-’ 
‘Aargh, aargh!’
‘One. Okay, you can let go now.’ 
‘I can’t,’ Jack said, with difficulty. ‘I’m stuck.’ 
Finley laughed and then caught an image of his mother who was bound to be furious. 
‘Don’t move.’ 
‘Sorry. I’ll go get Dad. He’ll know what to do.’ 

Jack stood glued to the lamppost. It tasted of nothing.

Laura Besley

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Flash Fiction diary

This story is dedicated to my good friend Gillian, her husband, and her two boys Finley and Jack. 

May is National Short Story Month. I've joined A.M. Harte's Senseless Challenge

We have five senses.
May has five Fridays.
Each Friday is dedicated to one of the senses.

The schedule is:

May 03: Sight
May 10: Sound
May 17: Smell
May 24: Taste
May 31: Touch

There are no rules. You can take part for one week or all five. You can write about not having that week’s sense or only having it. goes! 

Flash Fortnightly #14 is Desire for Belonging. A story about finding out who you are and whether you belong, or not. Click here for the link. 

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Flash Fiction is short enough to read whilst you're waiting for the kettle to boil. It's fairly quick to write too, but with it being so short, every word has to count. 

On 4th May 2012 I decided to embark on a project: to write a piece of Flash Fiction every day. I'm hoping this will keep the creative juices flowing and ultimately help me hone my craft. Every Friday I'll be posting 'the best of the week' onto my blog for you to read. If you have anything to say (good or 'constructive'!), I'm open to comments.  

Thanks, as always, for reading.


  1. Ha ha! Poor Jack being manipulated by his older brother! Made me chuckle :)

    1. Yes, poor Jack! Glad it made you laugh - was supposed to be a 'lighter' one than usual! ;)

  2. aw this was funny and sad at the same time! There's always one who will go first and in this case, he paid for it!

    marc nash

    1. Indeed. Let's hope he learns his lesson! ;)

  3. Oh, this is so funny! It really made me laugh. Well done.

  4. Ahahaha! This reminds me so much of growing up with my sisters. I loved them but, being the oldest, the one "in charge", I seemed to know everything to tell them to do so they "didn't get in trouble."
    I'm good to them now, I swear. :)Fun story Laura!

  5. Nice change of scene from the 85 degree weather we've been having.
    Made me think of that scene from A Christmas Story where the kid gets double dog dared to lick the flagpole.

    1. Yes, don't know why I thought about snow... It's hot here too, but not 85 degrees yet!

  6. oooo the evil elder sibling ;) I've been one and pulled countless fast ones over my trusting little sister - for my benefit usually. But Finley is the master, he got Jack for his pure amusement!

    1. Despite being the eldest, it was usually my sister who managed to trick me. She was obviously much smarter than me! ;)

  7. Ugh, I remember when a kid at my elementary school did that. He got to keep his tongue, but there was this huge frozen glob of blood on the lamp-post until the thaw came. I suppose it made a good warning totem.

    This was really well depicted. I can't decide if the younger brother is more naive or the older brother more evil!

    1. Yuk! I suppose it warned off all the other kids though. Did the boy's tongue recover?!

  8. Poor little guy. Evil older brother. Funny though.

    1. Yes, poor chap. Am sure the eldest one will get into trouble though, so I don't think he got away with it completely!

  9. It could have been worse. I was imagining all sorts of horrible things one might dig out of the snow and taste. Nicely done!

    1. Thank you. Yes, in the grand scheme of things it could've been much worse! ;)

  10. Hilarious! I'm a bit behind on your flash fiction at the mo, glad I stopped to read this one though! Glad Jack wore his layers, he could have been stuck there a while.....

    1. Yes, he might be there a while...! ;) Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy the others.


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