Friday 18 May 2012

Friday Flash Fiction - week 1!


The First Date

Elaine had been dating Terence for two years online before she met him in person. When she’d filled in her profile, egged on by her new neighbour, she’d never expected to get any responses. Terence sent her a message within a week and she had fallen for his sense of humour and vibrancy. He had also seemed extremely kind and not to mention good-looking. At her age she couldn’t believe her luck.

“Darling,” he reached out for her with pudgy sweaty fingers. “So pleased to finally touch your hands.” He beamed at her. “To clasp them within my own.”

She reached out for him too and felt the warm metal of his pinky ring. God, I hate jewellery on men! she thought. “Yes, finally,” she squeezed out. “I didn’t know you wore a ring.”

“Family heirloom,” he said proudly.  

He had driven down from Glasgow and she up from Winchester. He took her to the table he had reserved for their first meeting. It was a small Italian restaurant which had, no doubt, been recommended by the hotel owners. They were staying in the same hotel, but separate rooms. That much she’d insisted on, despite his claim that they knew each other so intimately already.

The table was set with a crisp white tablecloth and a single red rose in a ceramic flute vase. She ordered lasagne and he carbonara. She couldn’t stop staring at his chubby fingers trying to wield his cutlery, holding his wine glass, and finally wiping his mouth with the white linen napkin. He’d slurped his pasta and had left a drip of cheese sauce on his chin for the longest time.  

Over coffee, “decaf for you my dear,” he chuckled, he told her about his plans to expand his business. After twenty minutes she barely stifled a yawn and said, “I think I might head back if that’s ok with you?”

“Of course, of course,” he said jubilantly. He signalled in the air at the waiter for the bill. “Can’t wait any longer, eh?” he said winking at her. “Know what you mean.”

“Actually, Terence, I don’t think this is going to work out.” She fingered the edge of the tablecloth, keeping her eyes firmly trained downwards.

“You what?” he hissed. “After all this time? Elaine, look at me!”

She raised her eyes to meet his and whispered that she was sorry.  
L. Besley

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Flash Fiction is short enough to read whilst you're waiting for the kettle to boil. It's fairly quick to write too, but with it being so short, every word has to count. 


On 4th May 2012 I decided to embark on a project: to write a piece of Flash Fiction every day. I'm hoping this will keep the creative juices flowing and ultimately help me hone my craft. Every Friday I'll be posting 'the best of the week' onto my blog for you to read. If you have anything to say (good or 'constructive'!), I'm open to comments.  


Thanks, as always, for reading. 

14 comments:

  1. But why? Why did she not want him anymore!? Or even just to kiss him goodnight.. Two years he spent wooing her, he bought her dinner too (in a restaurant the hotel has links with so clearly overpriced) and this is how she treats him!! I'm gutted for him... GUTTED!!

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  2. Maybe she was a little harsh...

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  3. She just didnt give him a reason! (and that is all guys want - a reason why they are being dumped (so they tell me)) and you dont know if she finished it with him because of the cheese on his chin? the chubby fingers? or the heirloom? which...

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  4. You need to decide that one for yourself! ;0)

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  5. It's about the clash between expectation and reality, and that although many people are cool or attractive when you see them from afar, up close they may have ... cheese sauce on their chin. I think the chubby fingers are not such an issue, if the chubby-ness is within reason.

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    1. That's exactly right! That's what I was aiming for, at least...

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  6. Poor Elaine; all that hope and high expectations, 2 years of investment only to find a man with a pink ring! I recommend Skype to her in future! :)

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  7. Skype definitely would've been the way forward! :)

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  8. well done! great little snippet. chubby fingers attached to a chubby man, no thanks. but why did she not tell him about the cheese sauce on his chin?

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    1. Yes, I suppose she should've done. Thanks for reading and commenting!

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  9. I thought it was great. Sounds like he was a different man entirely than his online persona. What happened to his great sense of humor? And what about that vibrancy? If those were in play, she wouldn't have noticed the cheese on his chin, no? I don't think she's shallow, just all of the sudden in cold stark reality.

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    1. Hi Penny,
      Thanks for your comments. Yes, I think the idea was that he was very different in reality to online. If he'd still be vibrant, she wouldn't have noticed the cheese on his chin!

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  10. The reality sometimes is a stark contrast to what we perceive. I feel for Elaine. In person, he wasn't really what she expected. And I wonder where all his good qualities went to.

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    1. Reality can be a bit of a letdown sometimes! On hindsight, I think this scenario might be quite unrealistic!

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