Friday, 5 October 2012

Friday Flash Fiction - Week 19!

Down the Hill

Mrs. Knox pushed the heavy wheelchair up the hill for the third time that day, then stopped, released and let it roll down the hill. She pulled her gloves off both hands, finger by finger, cupped her hands in front of her mouth and blew. Mrs Knox’ hands hadn’t been warm for as long as she could remember. 

The wheelchair careened down the incline, gaining speed and she turned at the sound of the crash. She put her gloves back on and slowly stomped down to the heap of metal, under which was her husband.

She passed the row of town houses she had seen every day for the last forty years, each with a different coloured front door. Marjorie lived at number 21 behind the green door, and Betty at number 35 behind the black door. She’d regretted painting it that colour because she had to wash it every day. Tom and Pippa had been living behind the red door, but moved away when their only son was killed in the Iraq War. Marjorie knew every member of every family that lived behind those coloured doors. 

Pulling the wheelchair off him, her husband let out a groan. “Blimey Nora!” he said. 
“Well, I do keep telling you,” she replied. 
“But it’s so much fun!” He was sitting with a blanket over his thin legs. “And when you can’t feel anything anymore because your body has given up on you, it’s so nice to feel the wind in your face.” 
Her lips turned up a little at the corners. “I suppose. Again?”
“Yes, please!” 
L. Besley

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Flash Fiction diary

The first line of this piece was written as part of an exercise for my course with Calum Kerr. I'm learning lots and getting very useful feedback from him and the other participants. This story didn't end up the way I'd initially envisioned it, but I'm pleased it turned out this way. 

For the first time this week I took part in the Wednesday Write-in at CAKE.shortandsweet. We were given 5 prompts and you could use as many as you like, or just take inspiration from them, and write a piece of flash fiction. Click here for the results: The Amber Suite

I've also stepped, rather gingerly, into the 21st century and have set up a twitter account! If you'd like to follow me, I can be found bumbling my way through this technology @laurabesley 
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Flash Fiction is short enough to read whilst you're waiting for the kettle to boil. It's fairly quick to write too, but with it being so short, every word has to count. 

On 4th May 2012 I decided to embark on a project: to write a piece of Flash Fiction every day. I'm hoping this will keep the creative juices flowing and ultimately help me hone my craft. Every Friday I'll be posting 'the best of the week' onto my blog for you to read. If you have anything to say (good or 'constructive'!), I'm open to comments.  

Thanks, as always, for reading. 


  1. Aww, that was a cute ending! I thought she almost evil at the start, but he's so excited.

    Editorial note on the opening line: "As" connotes simultaneity, so you've said she is simultaneously pushing the wheelchair up the hill and letting it roll down at the same time. Would you consider opening with something like, "Mrs. Knox pushed the heavy wheelchair up the hill for the third time that day, then stopped, released and let it roll down the hill."?

    1. You're totally right! Can't believe I didn't spot that myself. Thanks for pointing it out.

  2. The ending did make me smile, I thought she was trying to kill him at first. :)

    1. I think that's how it started out in my head, but Mrs Knox had different ideas! ;)

  3. Ha ha! Reminds me of when I let you roll towards that window! Eek! Fortunately it also turned out well :) Mr & Mrs Knox sounds fun xxx

    1. Yes, I thought of that precise incident when penning this story! xxx

  4. Very nice twist. They need another chair so they can race down the hill!


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