Keep Your Life, Family and Career Intact While Living Abroad by Cathy Tsang-Feign, PhD

About the Book

Title: Keep Your Life, Family and Career Intact While Living Abroad
Author: Cathy Tsang-Feign
Publication: Pomelo Publishers; 3 edition (19 Sep 2013)
Summary: The challenges of living in a foreign country don't begin and end with culture shock. If you're planning a move abroad, you need to prepare yourself for the unique pressures, anxieties and personal and family problems common to all expatriates, which are often difficult to anticipate and a challenge to overcome. 
This expanded new edition contains new information on expatriate relationships and marriage, third culture kids, and a thorough guide to finding help abroad. (amazon)

What I Think

The first paragraph of Dr. Cathy Tsang-Feign's Keep Your Life, Family and Career Intact While Living Abroad (third edition, revised and expanded) is as concise, true and informative as the rest of her book: 

"There is a lot of romance associated with living abroad. It is often seen as a life of glamour, of white suits and high tea on palm-shaded verandas, chauffeurs and servants and dinners with diplomats, with no problems in store other than a touch of culture shock." (Foreword) 

Culture Shock, Dr. Tsang-Feign says is "better defined as acculturation, [...] a process which can last from six months to more than a year." The process is broken up into four easy-to-understand steps: 

• Elation - "When first in a foreign country, one finds it quite stimulating that most things are so unlike back home." 
• Resistance - "Frequent comparisons between home and the host country make everything back home seem so much better." 
• Transformation - "Individuals feel more familiar with the environment and begin to see the good side of the host country."
• Integration - "Cultural barriers are bridged." 

Having lived abroad for many years, both as a child and as an adult, I found this theory to be completely accurate. In my experience I have found some countries easier to settle into than others, but the overall process is the same, just slower or faster. 

This book is extremely insightful; it explains theories, shows real life examples and offers helpful advice and tips. I certainly wish I'd read it twenty years ago! However, I know that I can dip back in it as and when I need to. The book covers and broad range of topics, such as: 'Problems of Moving', 'Third Culture Kids', 'Stress at Work and Home' and 'All Alone and Far From Home'. I cannot recommend this book more for people living, or thinking about, living abroad. 

About the Author

Dr. Cathy Tsang-Feign is a leading expert in the field of expatriate and cross-cultural psychology, based on decades of experience working with international executives and diplomats and their families in North America, Europe, Asia and Australia. 

She holds Master's Degrees in Counseling and Family Therapy and a PhD in Psychology. She has practised professionally in Los Angeles and Atlanta, as well as London's Harley Street, and currently runs a private practice in Hong Kong. She travels extensively to provide training and assessments for international corporations and government organizations. 

She is a former columnist on family psychology for the South China Morning Post and American in Britain. 

She is married with two children and is an avid gardener and beekeeper in her spare time. 

For more information, visit her website: www.cathyfeign.com

Hong Kong Noir by Feng Chi-shun

About the Book

Title: Hong Kong Noir 
Author: Feng Chi-shun
Publication: Blacksmith Books (2012)
Summary: Fifteen true tales from the dark side of the city.

What I Think

Feng Chi-shun is a pathologist and has, therefore, seen a fair amount of deaths, whether they be natural or unnatural. He is also "not unfamiliar with the underbelly of Hong Kong society". He tells us in the prologue "When I was in my forties, I made my worst financial decision ever [...] I invested in part-ownership of a bar in Kowloon City: a part of town where the Sun Yee On triad faction originated." These fifteen true tales are divided into three sections: Losers and Boozers, Beyond Villains and Victims and Sex and the City. 

These stories in Hong Kong Noir don't happen in my Hong Kong. The city that I live in is clean, safe, full of polite and friendly people. I have been morbidly fascinated to read about these tales of sordid Hong Kong: triad members, arranged marriages, street sleepers, riots, tattoos, girlie bars.  

One thing I really like is that each story has a quote at the beginning of it, for example: Story 12. A Hardcore Childhood, "Of all known tortures in the whole wide world, those originating from China are the cruelest" - Anon. Each quote has been chosen very carefully and is very apt for the story. They effectively foreshadow for the reader what the story will be about. 

Extremely varied, each story is intriguing and compelling in its own way. I highly recommend this collection. 

About the Author

Feng Chi-shun is a naturalized US citizen, but considers Hong Kong - where he grew up and attended medical school - his home. His formative years were spent in Diamond Hill, where people were poor but life was rich. 

Trained as a pathologist, he has published close to 100 scientific articles on his medical research. He has also been a columnist for the South China Morning Post, the leading English newspaper in Hong Kong. 

Feeling deprived as a child, he is making up for lost time by living life to its fullest. He is an aficionado of wine and cigars, and a part-time punter attracted to roulette, poker, mahjong and horse racing. In his spare time, he plays golf and tennis, and shoots a mean game of pool. His three US-born children - Angel, Gina, and Stephen - and his Canadian wife Cathy are his best friends. So far, he has two grandchildren, Amirah and Qairo. He intends to live in Hong Kong for the rest of his life. (Blacksmith books)

Alone in Berlin - Hans Fallada

About the Book

Title: Alone in Berlin - UK/Every Man Dies Alone - US (Jeder stirbt für sich allein - Original title)
Author: Hans Fallada
Publication: 1947
Summary: Set in WWII this is a story of an ordinary couple who choose to do something extraordinary. 

What I Think

Based on a true story Hans Fallada writes the story of Otto and Anna Quangel, a quiet and ordinary couple who are living in Germany during WWII. He is a foreman, she is a housewife and when they lose their only son to a Russian bullet they decide to fight back: by distributing anti-Nazi, anti-Hitler messages carefully written on the back of postcards. 

Using an omnipresent narrator we follow the lives not only of Otto and Anna, but also the other residents in their apartment block, various police officers and SS inspectors who are trying to catch the "Hobgoblin" (their code name for the writer of the mysterious postcards) and other people who are in some way related to the narrative. I felt this left me less attached to the main character(s). I also felt that some of the characters were unnecessary and this led to a slightly sluggish start to the novel. 

By no means a light read, in subject matter or in length, it was, however, extremely interesting. Having read a fair few books (based on true stories or fictional) and having lived in Germany, the novel was peppered with countless little details that made it seem very real. 

Recommended to anyone interested in the period and/or Germany. 

About the Author

Hans Fallada (21 July 1893 – 5 February 1947), real name Rudolf Wilhelm Friedrich Ditzen, was a German writer. Fallada's pseudonym derives from a combination of characters found in the Grimm's Fairy Tales: the protagonist of Hans in Luck and a horse named Falada in The Goose Girl. Other novels are Little Man, What Now? (1932). 

Book Buying Ban

For Easter my husband and I went to England. On the way back we had a couple of hours to kill at Heathrow airport, and I spent most of it in WHSmith (a book & stationery shop for those of you not in the know) and bought three books, as well as some Cadbury's chocolate. The chocolate was gone by the time I got onto the plane, but the books, well they needed a new home once we got back. And that's where the problem started. 

Books bought in WHSmith

We have one narrow, and very full, bookshelf. Our flat in Hong Kong isn't small by local standards, but it's not massive either. My suggestion to the problem was buying another bookcase, but unfortunately my husband didn't agree. I have begrudgingly conceded that he's right. 

Books you'll never read again, in my opinion, fall into two categories: those you still want to keep and those that can be given away. Mine mainly fall into the first, hence the overflowing bookshelf. However, I did have a sort out and found ten books that could be returned to people or given to the charity shop. 



As a little experiment I decided to tally up the books on my bookshelf I haven't read yet. Including five borrowed books, there were nearly twenty. Eek. Then I turned to check my kindle. I'd just downloaded five new books, and had another ten unread. Double and triple eek. On average I read one book a week and by my calculations, despite my maths not being great, that's enough books to comfortably see me through until the end of the year. 

A selection of the unreads

Unreads that are borrowed, or have been given to me

Therefore, I am on a self-inflicted book buying ban. 
...Unless I need to buy one for book club...Obviously if someone gives me one...or lends me one...or sends me one to review, that's fine! 

Quiet by Susan Cain

About the Book

Title: Quiet: The power of Introverts in a World that can't stop Talking
Author: Susan Cain
Publication: Penguin (3 January 2013)/Amazon Kindle
Summary: (Amazon) Our lives are driven by a fact that most of us can't name and don't understand. It defines who our friends and lovers are, which careers we choose, and whether we blush when we're embarrassed. That fact is whether we're an introvert or an extrovert. In Quiet, Susan Cain shows how the brain chemistry of introverts and extroverts differs, and how society misunderstands and undervalues introverts. She gives introverts the tools to better understand themselves and take full advantage of their strengths.

What I Think

I did not like this book. I'm not even sure I should be reviewing it, as I didn't finish it and have absolutely no intention of doing so. I feel I was misled into thinking this was a book based on scientific results, and although there are a number of studies used, I feel these were carefully chosen by the author to promote her stand point: introverts are better. An example of this is a quote by psychologist Jerry Miller, director of the Center for the Child and the Family at the University of Michigan. "The stereotype of the university professor is accurate for so many people on campus. They like to read; for them there's nothing more exciting than ideas. And some of this has to do with how they spent their time when they were growing up. If you spend a lot of time charging around, then you have less time for reading and learning. There's only so much time in your life."  

One thing I liked about this book was that it made me think about the way in which I teach and whether I'm catering to all learning types and styles. Am I taking into consideration that some people would just prefer to work alone? "Our schools should teach children the skills to work with others - cooperative learning can be effective when practiced well and in moderation - but also the time and training they need to deliberately practice on their own." (Cain) That in itself is a pertinent question when teaching in Asia, as broadly speaking many students prefer working alone. However, communicative learning has proved successful and is generally regarded highly within the EFL world.  

As adults we need to be able to communicate effectively with others. There are very few jobs in the world where you can work completely on your own. Even writers, who most probably write their books in the confines of their own company, seek help from other writers. Once their book is published they will often do talks to help promote their books, because as much as one writes for the joy of writing, one also writes to earn a living and therefore needs those books to sell. 

I don't want you to misunderstand me; I wanted to like this book, but I felt it was too black and white. Instead of it being about how we can learn from each other, draw from each other's strengths and make allowances for each other's weaknesses, it was a boxing match with introverts in one corner and extroverts in the other. 

About the Author

Susan Cain is the author of the Sunday Times and New York Times bestseller Quiet: The Power of Introverts in A World That Can't Stop Talking, which has been translated into more than 30 languages. Since her 2012 TED talk was posted online it has been viewed over three million times. Her writing on introversion and shyness has appeared in the New York Times, the Guardian, Oprah magazine and Psychology Today. Cain has spoken at the Royal Society of Arts, Microsoft and Google, and has appeared on BBC Radio 4, BBC Breakfast, CBS and NPR. Her work has been featured on the cover of Time, in the Daily Mail, the FT, the Atlantic, GQ, Grazia, the New Yorker, Wired, Fast Company, Fortune, Forbes, USA Today, the Washington Post, CNN and Slate.com.


She is an honours graduate of Princeton and Harvard Law School. She lives in the Hudson River Valley with her husband and two sons.

www.thepowerofintroverts.com

Going Home by Penni Mannas-Diefendorf

About the Book

Title: Going Home
Author: Penni Mannas-Diefendorf
Publication: Truthredux Limited; 1 edition (30 Jan 2013)/Amazon Kindle
Summary: (Amazon) What if you could live the life you’ve always dreamed of? Many of us will never come to grips with who we really are in our lifetime. We are hemmed in and conflicted by a myriad of differing opinions and standards about who we should be, what we should achieve, and how we should be living. Do we ever stop and think about what we actually want, what would bring us our greatest joy so we can live for and as our true selves? Going Home starts the journey from that inauthentic life we are living now to our true selves and that best of all places: our heart of hearts, our soul, our eternal light — our core of steel. 

What I Think 

"For everything in your life, keep asking why." I feel this sums up Penni Mannas-Diefendorf's thought-provoking debut, Going Home. It is a book about how to get the best out of your life and you are the only one who is able to do that. How are you going to do it? She'll help you with that too. 

According to her theory there are five rings of consciousness. From outer to inner they are: material, mental, emotional, psychological and spiritual. "Each ring encompasses the one inside it, and we cannot expand our consciousness to the next level until we are very clear about what we want." You must learn about yourself, study yourself, study your needs, wants, dreams and fears to be able to truly live a life fulfilled. 

For each ring there is a STOP page; you have to stop reading, pick up pen and paper, and make a list, based on the information asked, for your past, present and future. These exhaustive lists will help you build a better picture of yourself, which will in turn allow you to grow and develop. There is a lot of the author in this book and I feel that adds to its strength as you have no doubt that she practises what she preaches. Highly recommended for anyone wanting to find their direction in life, or merely get themselves back on track. 

About the Author

Penni Mannas Diefendorf is a skeptical dreamer who likes to believe in magic and the impossible but wants proof. She has done a great many things in this lifetime, but the things she likes best are fixing things, teaching, and learning. Close seconds are singing, dancing, and dreaming, all of which are otherwise known as meditation. She currently resides in Hong Kong, which is an über splendid place to be, with her husband, who is an über splendid fellow. 




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